Denied

I'm unwell right now, so sorry if this post seems a bit off. It's the pseudoephedrine doing it's thing.

You know, we can make methamphetamine, a Class A drug, with pseudoephedrine. Imagine the sort of drugs we could make with real ephedrine...

Anyway, I received my first rejection letter this week. Maiden Voyage was described as 'unpublishable' (in its current state) and full of telling, not showing.

I couldn't be more excited.

I got some amazing feedback from the publisher, and it was honest as hell. Easily the most honest feedback I've ever received. That's such a refreshing thing for me to get. It was constructive, detailed and about as polite as a rejection letter can be.

After reading I was left with an amazing sense of accomplishment, and filled with an emboldening fire to do better work. Thing is, they told me pretty much exactly what I need to do to be a better writer, and when I looked at it, it was all stuff I could do. I could do it easily. It was just a matter of doing it, of learning the habit. How lucky am I to get that sort of feedback?

On top of that, there's a sense of legitimacy to being rejected. It's not that just about every successful author gets rejected to begin with, even though that's true. It's not about being 'part of a club' or anything like that. It's the fact that I put myself out there. Moreover, I put my work out there. Up until now, I've called myself a writer, I've considered myself a writer and I've talked about myself as a writer. Having been rejected by a publisher, I'm left with a sense of having walked the walk. I'm putting my money where my mouth is, and I intend on carrying on that way. It's one thing to call myself a writer, it's another thing entirely to try and get published. I can take myself as seriously as I like, but there's a difference between that and proving to others that you're serious.

We've all me the guy who goes around proclaiming some form of artistry that they're 'just really into, like, it's practically my life'. And we all know them for the fraud they are. They wouldn't dare try make a living off what they do, because in truth they don't really do that thing. That sort of person wouldn't even get as far as being rejected, and if you asked them about it they'd say something like 'the publishers are all just vicious. It's a racket' or somesuch conspiratorial statement.

I'm not that person. Provably so.

That's a good feeling.