A Bite-Sized Story: Just Fun

I asked Twitter to give me a prompt for this post, and Twitter delivered. Thank you to everyone who gave their suggestions, and a special thanks to @RogerDColbym whose prompt won out. He sent me this:

'Something exists just at the edge of your vision and when you look it vanishes.'

Here's what I came up with.

Language warning ahead.

            Just Fun

            I feel bad about it. I'm meant to, it's my job. It's just so funny though.

            "He still hasn't figured it out." I giggle.

            "No, he hasn't." my co-worker replies

            Oh Jesus it's killing me, this is just too funny.

            "Again, again, one more time." he says.

            I nod, smile all wry and twisted. What have I become? Oh whatever, it's still funny. My co-worker leans in close and whispers "You're a faggot."

            I'm right on the ball with my response, whispering "No, don't listen to him."

            Then we're snickering away again like two little girls. Poor kid swats at his ears like there's a mosquito about. Oh my sides.

            "Ok, ok, ok, we should stop now." I tell my co-worker, fitting words in between gasps of air.

            "No way, look at him. This'll never get old." he says, that toothy grin of his telling me it's fine to keep going. Damn is he good at his job. And I guess I'm not good enough at mine.

            I don't say anything, but he starts leaning into the kid's ear again. I don't really have a choice but to be prepared. We have to keep up appearances after all.

            "You like boys." he whispers.

            "No you don't, you're mad for pussy." I barely keep it together as I talk.

            Then we're off sniggering again. Ohhhh it's so funny being mean. I lean in again, knowing this will be a master stroke. My co-worker's gonna lose his shit at this one.

            "And even if you do, God doesn't mind these days."

            The kid slaps at where I would be standing, his hand goes straight through me. My co-worker is on his arse, full-on bellowing with laughter. I tried to keep my composure, but as it turns out I'm a comic genius and now I'm full of rolling hysterics. The kid glances nervously left and right, and my laughter redoubles. Jesus he's dumb.

            "Ohhh noooo, we really need to stop." I say, knowing I probably don't sound like I mean it. I do, deep down, but it's hard to sound sincere when you're laughing. And even then, I've already gone this far. I'm fired, sure as shit, might as well enjoy the last day on the job.

            "Haha, maybe. We can wait, then come back. God that'll really fuck with him." he says, grin still wicked with schemes.

            "Aww, come on, don't say the boss' name like that." I saw, laughter finally waning. I'm still grinning like I'm high though.

            "He won't be happy with you." says the co-worker, like he's half of my own brain. I guess he is, in a way...

            "No, not at all, not at this point. Shit though it was worth it." I saw, letting out a long breath like I've just puffed a cigarette.

            "Might as well keep going then." he says, and this time he knows I've already thought it.

            "No, come on, we can't. The kid probably thinks he's a schizophrenic by now."

            "I CAN SEE YOU!" the kid yells. I fall over laughing again, and by the time I get myself together the kid's swatting at his ears and shoulders again. "RIGHT THERE! STOP MOVING WHEN I TURN MY HEAD!"

            Holy fuck, he's 16 and he sounds like he's having a temper tantrum. We're still on our arses laughing. Then my co-worker sits up, leans into the kid's ear again, pulls back to stifle another chuckle, gets right up close.

            "We're not reeeaal." he sing-songs.

            Then he falls back laughing again, harder than ever before. I snigger a little, but damn does the kid look worked up now. We can't see much of him, mind you, but he's flailing his arms about and shaking his head like a mad dog. I can hear crashing sounds, like wood breaking. I've never been able to hear the kid's sounds before. Something isn't right.

            "I think we've gone too far." I say to the co-worker, and thank Christ I actually sound serious this time.

            "Don't tell me that, tell him." he says through his boiling laughs, nodding his head toward the kid.

            Oh Jesus, he's right. I didn't say anything right after him either. The kid's probably panicking. He'll be having a moral crisis nearly. And I was right, he probably thinks he's a schizophrenic now too. Oh shit, I've fucked this up so bad. It was funny, sure, and I'm over the job, but this kid is messed up now. What can I say? What can I say!?

            I lean in close. Something will come to me, right? That's what I do, isn't it? I'm the voice of reason.

            BOOM!

            "Fuck!" the co-worker cries.

            BOOM!

            What the fuck is going on? The sound goes again, and again.

            "He's got a fucking gun. Oh Christ, I was doing my job." he says. I know it's not true. He's just trying to justify himself.

            The bullets don't hurt us, but he's firing like mad. His arms are flailing about and he's just shooting this thing again and again. I think he was trying to aim over his shoulders, where he thinks we must be, but now he's just firing blind.

            Then it happens. He hits himself, right in the head. Chunks of blood and brain go sailing past me. Oh no, oh we fucked up bad.

            "It was fun..." mumbles my co-worker. His face looks pale as my robe. "It was just honest fun..."

            I guess the kid didn't agree.